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raloriaSorry, but I need to vent/spill my guts for a minute.
I've never had a panic attack in my life, but I feel this-close to having one.
Holy crap, but I'm stressed.
I've got this monstrous to-do list for LJ, a backlog of nearly 800 comments in my email, and a big movie premiere to attend this Friday and maybe a family event on Saturday. And then there's all those other, little or medium sized real life things going on or coming up to deal with.
I'm tired. I know I am. I shouldn't even be posting when I'm this tired. *facepalms* And then there's still that anonymous comment from yesterday eating away at my soul a little bit. *sigh* I'm trying not to think about it, but it's still there...in the back of my mind.
Okay, lets take the LJ To-Do List:
* VanCon Reports: There's at least 4 or 6 of these left. I feel so bad for being so late w/these. *iz bad*
* B&W Fanarts for 5x03 (at least these are done and all ready to post on Wednesday)
* Caps from S5 episodes so far (5x01 & 5x02 are already all uploaded to MediaFire, but 5x03 isn't - there's also no preview caps in PB yet)
* SPN Revealed for the next S2 Episode (I promised this on my latest to-do list post by the end of this month. I'd still like to deliver on that promise.)
Then there's keeping up with the Cap Challenge twice a week and the Just 'Cause posts every day.
I'm not complaining....not at all. I created all this for myself. However, there's also this responsibility I feel. I've set this bar for myself. People like what I post and I feel the need to put out all the time. Except there are times like now when it builds up and I feel so swamped by it all. I've felt this building up for days, but I thought I could handle it without posting about it. But this is my journal and sometimes I have to vent or I'll lose my mind.
I feel like I'm burning out. This new SPN season kicked in and everything amped up a few notches. It's a lot to keep up with. It's not like I can take a day or two off either. I can't. Again with that responsibility part, you see? It's so strong. I'd feel more awful if I didn't keep posting every day. So I have to keep going.
In a nutshell....
Yes, I'm stressed out with all that I do on LJ.
No, I don't blame any of you or anyone who visits my LJ. This is all on me & my stupid sense of responsibility to people who come to my LJ.
No, I won't ease up on my posts. I'll figure this out somehow. I always do.
Don't worry about me....I'll be fine. Especially once I get some sleep. I just needed to let all this out. You guys are my guinea pigs. ;)
Damn, I wish I hadn't done that meme. That one comment has snowballed this whole thing. *sigh*
If I were to ask for anything right now it would be for some love from all of you? I feel bad for even asking, what with the comments I got on that meme and all the comments I get every day. I feel selfish for even asking. It's just that I could really use it right now. Me stressed out = needy & pathetic. It's as plain as that.
Chalk this up as another post I'm going to feel stupid about later on. *facepalms* :(
Thanks so much for reading if you got this far. *hugs*
I've never had a panic attack in my life, but I feel this-close to having one.
Holy crap, but I'm stressed.
I've got this monstrous to-do list for LJ, a backlog of nearly 800 comments in my email, and a big movie premiere to attend this Friday and maybe a family event on Saturday. And then there's all those other, little or medium sized real life things going on or coming up to deal with.
I'm tired. I know I am. I shouldn't even be posting when I'm this tired. *facepalms* And then there's still that anonymous comment from yesterday eating away at my soul a little bit. *sigh* I'm trying not to think about it, but it's still there...in the back of my mind.
Okay, lets take the LJ To-Do List:
* VanCon Reports: There's at least 4 or 6 of these left. I feel so bad for being so late w/these. *iz bad*
* B&W Fanarts for 5x03 (at least these are done and all ready to post on Wednesday)
* Caps from S5 episodes so far (5x01 & 5x02 are already all uploaded to MediaFire, but 5x03 isn't - there's also no preview caps in PB yet)
* SPN Revealed for the next S2 Episode (I promised this on my latest to-do list post by the end of this month. I'd still like to deliver on that promise.)
Then there's keeping up with the Cap Challenge twice a week and the Just 'Cause posts every day.
I'm not complaining....not at all. I created all this for myself. However, there's also this responsibility I feel. I've set this bar for myself. People like what I post and I feel the need to put out all the time. Except there are times like now when it builds up and I feel so swamped by it all. I've felt this building up for days, but I thought I could handle it without posting about it. But this is my journal and sometimes I have to vent or I'll lose my mind.
I feel like I'm burning out. This new SPN season kicked in and everything amped up a few notches. It's a lot to keep up with. It's not like I can take a day or two off either. I can't. Again with that responsibility part, you see? It's so strong. I'd feel more awful if I didn't keep posting every day. So I have to keep going.
In a nutshell....
Yes, I'm stressed out with all that I do on LJ.
No, I don't blame any of you or anyone who visits my LJ. This is all on me & my stupid sense of responsibility to people who come to my LJ.
No, I won't ease up on my posts. I'll figure this out somehow. I always do.
Don't worry about me....I'll be fine. Especially once I get some sleep. I just needed to let all this out. You guys are my guinea pigs. ;)
Damn, I wish I hadn't done that meme. That one comment has snowballed this whole thing. *sigh*
If I were to ask for anything right now it would be for some love from all of you? I feel bad for even asking, what with the comments I got on that meme and all the comments I get every day. I feel selfish for even asking. It's just that I could really use it right now. Me stressed out = needy & pathetic. It's as plain as that.
Chalk this up as another post I'm going to feel stupid about later on. *facepalms* :(
Thanks so much for reading if you got this far. *hugs*
