raloria

I've been trying to get more screenshots of J2 from old convention panel videos on youtube over the past few hours. It is not easy.

We're blessed with so many hi-resolution con videos now, but back then...in 2009, 2008, and earlier? There was no such thing. And of course, we're talking about 8 year old videos, many of which aren't even online anymore. The few that still exist are rarely over 480p in resolution, some not even that high. Plus, with my current, slow internet I have to wait a bit for the videos to even load. Fun, fun, fun.

It also gets challenging when the boys appeared more than one day for a con, so of course, I'm trying to get video caps from both days...if I can. Doesn't help when people didn't label their videos in any way as to which day they were even filmed on. *sigh* Then there's camera shake and heads in the way...it's a total mine field out there.

Just the random late-night musings of a busy (and sometimes frustrated) fangirl.

I was getting Location Caps from 9x15 "#THINMAN" and I caught something in Dean that I don't remember noticing before. The Thinman dude is about to kill Dean and Sam, who is trying to break free of his bonds, noticeably panics and calls out "No!". But as the killer puts the knife to Dean's throat, Dean is visibly resigned to his fate. He doesn't struggle, he doesn't fight. He simply sits calmly and accepts that this is the end.




It just goes to show how devastated Dean was throughout most of Season 9, thanks to Sam's hurtful words. This is soon after Sam said he wouldn't save Dean's life. Yes, he meant in the way Dean saved Sam's life in the season opener, but we all know that's not how Dean heard it (and neither did many of us). Sam didn't even want to work together as brothers, but keep their partnership strictly business. So Dean's got to feel that he risked everything, trusted an angel (and was deceived), and got his brother back only to have Sam reject him as a sibling and admit he'd let him die. What's the point of fighting to stay alive?

Dean has often been ready to die, seeing himself as a grunt back in S8 and ready to do the trials. You could go back to Dean accepting the Mark of Cain so easily as another type of death wish. He was easily talked into the mission to get the First Blade by Crowley and was so hellbent on killing Abaddon that he was willing to risk everything (and not even question the consequences) to get the Mark. Even by season's end he admitted he was ready to sacrifice himself in order to kill her.

Dean: I'm gonna take my shot, for better or worse.
Sam: I know.
Dean: No matter the consequences.

Of course, this is not unusual behavior for Dean, but his motivation this season was spurred on by Sam's resentment of Dean's actions in saving his life. And let's not get into who was right and wrong - they both were. This little moment just struck me as so sad. My poor Dean. Those dead eyes say so much (as they always do). Dean is done.